New rules

I thought about doing a poll on this, but then I decided that it wasn't necessary. Starting immediately there will be a change to what secrets are acceptable - and what are not. I am no longer going to accept any secrets that include name calling or personal attacks. I'm not sure where the line will be with negative secrets, but if it comes across as offensive to me, then it won't be posted. I won't reply to the submission comments either, as having them visible there is just the same as including them in the post. What this means is that no longer can secret makers indulge in their hate. You don't have to like everyone, in fact, you can hate everyone in the community if you like, but you cannot blast your hate here. I suppose it will be possible to make a negative secret about someone, but if it's done in a way that is attacking them, then it won't make the cut. If your secret isn't posted and I didn't reply to the comment to tell you why (because it was too big, it wasn't obviously sims related, etc), then it's because it was nasty and it wasn't fit to be posted.

I know some of you will think that this is me "nanny modding" or something else equally ridiculous, but quite frankly I'm tired of wondering if this or that secret is okay and whether I should try to make everyone happy. It's not possible to make everyone happy, so I'm taking away the hate from those who thrive on it. If there's nasty anon comments, then I'll take that away, too. This community is what the members make it, in terms of what is submitted and what is discussed in the comments. I am the one responsible for putting the posts together, so I know that the responsibility for that falls squarely on me. And I know I've made mistakes. I know there are things that I should have handled differently, there were times I should have stepped in more and put my foot down and ended discussion about several people. And I'm sorry I didn't. I'm also sorry that I allowed secrets to be posted that have hurt people, or pushed people away. I'm sorry that I allowed it to happen, that instead of trying to walk the line of keeping everyone happy, that I allowed people to be hurt. So if you have ever been hurt by something that's been posted or said about you here - please know that I am truly sorry. I am truly regretful that I allowed things to develop the way they did, and I hope that those who were hurt can forgive me for not doing more.

I don't like having to step in and tell people to behave properly, I really don't. But I have to, because some people enjoy the internet dickwad theory far too much, and it's just not going to fly any more. I am tired of seeing hateful secrets. I am tired of seeing nastiness here. If you have the need to be nasty, then you really need to take a look at yourself, because that is your problem, not the person you're attacking.

I am not asking or expecting this community to be all rainbow farting unicorns, but I'm expecting there to be respect and courtesy. You can disagree or dislike someone without resorting to bad behaviour. And you all know what is acceptable and what isn't. I would much rather this community return to being interesting, enjoyable and thriving, rather than one where people are afraid to look. If you want to see funny, interesting or touching secrets - then you need to post them. If you want there to be more secrets each week - then you need to post them. Bitching about how boring it is or how it sucks because there's only a dozen secrets doesn't help anyone. If you want to see more here, then give more. Be creative. Put some thought into it. If people abuse the anon feature, then it will be turned off. Perhaps permanently, perhaps only for a week or two - but that really depends on their behaviour. If submissions drop down, then they drop down. If this community needs to close, then it will close.

If you disagree with this, well, tough. Venting hate and deliberately hurting other people is not acceptable. I would rather those few be pissed off with me because I took away their toys than hurt anyone else. This is not "nanny modding." This is me saying that enough is enough. This is me choosing to not put up with it any more. This is me telling those haters to take it to the left, because there's the door. I would like to thank those that have brought up their concerns in polite and helpful ways, because you've certainly given me a lot to think about.

As I have said many times, I don't always get it right. I am sorry for every single time that I've gotten it wrong. This is not "just the internet." This is about real people and their feelings, and some of you need to remember that, and respect that.

Please feel free to discuss this. I may refine or add to these changes, but for now, this is how things stand.